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I believe I have seen a few ... okay several ... similarities between Gavin and Aurelius' treatment of prospective mates.
1) Compulsion - I am sure Auri used compulsion on Reah at least once while "questioning" her.
2) Witholding information - seriously why do these old vampires think keeping information or hiding abilities from someone is a good thing?
3) Hidebound - well Auri is better at least he recognizes it ...
4) Treating her like a child ... I don't really like the wording here but it's the best I can come up with at the moment ... listen to your mate guys neither of you would be happy with empty headed arm candy, so respect their intelligence.
Reading is a gift to yourself that you can share with everyone.
I actually thought Auri was very gentle with her given it was her first time. The only thing that did annoy me was the lack of 'true consent' given to Reah. It was the plan that they would make love, so they did... Sometimes there does seem to be a fine line between all of the loving attention given to mates by their intended and free will that makes me cringe, and I include Lissa in this analysis too.
I agree with andersanj's thoughts. It does seem at times the female is not given much choice in the matter. Was there a M'Fiyah between Auri and Reah?? Can't remember reading about it. Does anyone know if the M'fiyah work between High Demons???